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Welcome to the Monkeyisms Page. You've probably asked yourself many times in the past "What can be tasty, popular, and zippered all at once?" Well we have the answer. And in the following list, we have provided you with a very short list of descriptions and explanations of "Man's" Best Friend. Alternate examples are separated by slashes.


Go directly to monkeyism #35, if you wish.

1} Hot like a burning monkey / a female monkey / a desert-stranded monkey / a flaming monkey

2} Frustrated like a monkey in a monkey-proof box / a monkey with writers' block

3} Frustrating like a Rubik's monkey

4} Low like a monkey in a monkey-proof box in a well of soup / a Dutch monkey

5} Tasty like a roasted monkey / a chocolate covered monkey / a nougat-filled monkey

6} Crunchy like a kentucky fried monkey / a chocolate covered frog monkey

7} Packed like a college-bound monkey

8} Stuffed like a taxidermed monkey / a Thanksgiving monkey

9} Odd like a #3 monkey

10} Red like a Santa monkey / a bloody monkey / a monkey with the rinds in

11} Hairy like a monkey

12} Smelly like a monkey / an unbathed monkey

13} Wet like a melted monkey / a sea monkey

14} Small like like Spanish monquito

15} Percolated like a monkaphone

16} Sweet like a wheat monkey / a sugar-coated monkey

17} Big like a giant monkey

18} Forwards like a stogging monkey

19} Safe like a wussy monkey / a brown monkey

20} Expensive like black monkey

21} Wooden like a boat monkey / a Rendsburg monkey

22} Illogical like a studying monkey

23} White like an albino monkey / a paper towel monkey / a bleached monkey / a ghost monkey

24} Clear like an Eli-headed monkey / a translucent monkey / a glass monkey

25} Around like an oscillating monkey

26} Pink like a shaven monkey

27} Shiny like a waxed monkey / a polished monkey

28} Blue like a sad monkey

29} Tentically like an octomonkey

30} Square like a unhip monkey / boxular monkey

31} Kidnapped like a bone collected monkey

32} Constipated like a monkey

33} Tied up like a busy monkey

34} High like an altitudinous monkey / a stoned monkey

35} Stoned like a s'kila monkey / a Rebecca monkey

36} Fresh like a wood monkey

37} Cold like a monkey on the rocks / an ice monkey / an Arctic monkey / a polar monkey / a heartless monkey

38} Decptive like an undercover monkey / a monkey, James monkey

39} Sick like a dog monkey / a plague-ridden monkey / a monkey

40} Sweaty like an athletic monkey

41} Slimy like a gooey monkey

42} Straight like a Scotch monkey

43} Expensive like a gold monkey / a diamond monkey / a white monkey

44} Soft like a cotton monkey / a polyester monkey

45} Tuscular like an elephant monkey

46} Cool like a Nestea monkey

47} Slippery like a thief monkey / banana monkey

49} Dry like a parched monkey

50} Deformed like a freak monkey

51} Unbreakable Steakable like a Mendy monkey

52} Lisped like a Y.U. monkey

53} Sly like a used car selling monkey

54} Pittsburgh residing like a panthomonkey

55} Tricky like Wile E. Monkey

56} Pitted like a prune monkey

57} Flawed like an imperfect monkey

58} Nas like a Jelly Belly monkey

59} Dusty like an old monkey / a chalk monkey

60} Bent like a scoliosis monkey

61} Lost like a monkey in London / a monkey in a labyrinth / a monkey at Discovery Zone / a monkey at an optometrists' convention

62} Sharp like a spicy monkey / a cheddar monkey

63} Steamy like a vaporized monkey

64} Mamalons like an overbitten monkey

65} Has no life like a *.*.*.*. attending monkey

66} Dead like a decapitated monkey / a monkey that lost its balance / a monkey that missed a branch

67} Wise like a Morpheus monkey / an old monkey

68} Old like a cryogenically frozen monkey

69} Popular like a WB17 monkey

70} Angelic like an Anaheim monkey

71} Awesome like a sick monkey

72} Silent like a mouthless monkey

73} Rotten like an expired monkey

74} Undead like a weremonkey / a vampmonkey

75} Free like a former slave monkey / a liberated monkey

76} Dumb like a jock monkey

77} Smart like a nerd monkey

78} Solid like a congealed cheese monkey

79} Cool like a Fonzy monkey / an air conditioned monkey

80} Talented like a circus monkey

81} Cruel like a nazi monkey

82} Risky like a daremonkey

83} Fun to draw on like a Pokèmonkey folder

84} Strong like a WMF monkey

85} Drowning like a monkey

86} Punk like a skateboard monkey

87} Braced like a brown monkey tooth

88} Fat like an obese monkey / a swolen monkey / a Pilsbury dough monkey

89} Phat like a hot monkey

90} Platinum like a speaker monkey

91} Viscous like a liquid monkey

92} Wicked like a candle monkey

93} Smooth like a silk monkey

94} Stuck like an Excalibur monkey / a monkey in a mouse trap / a Scotch monkey / an Elmer's monkey / a Jiffy monkey / a British monkey

95} Written like a Bible monkey

96} Vomitous like a volcanic monkey

97} Airbourne like a catapulted monkey

98} Plain like a black and white monkey

99} Painful like a circumcized monkey / a pounded monkey / a scalped monkey / a stretched out monkey

100} Poisoned like a snakebitten monkey

101} Searched like a drug using monkey

102} Zippered like a monkey suit

103} Bloody like an operating monkey

104} Black like a colorless monkey

105} Spacious like a hollow monkey

106} Drunk like a Russian monkey / an Irish monkey

107} Cheap like a Jewish monkey

107} Racist like a KKK monkey

107} Hip to the groove like a hippie monkey

108} Mystical like a fire brething monkey

109} Hairless like a shorn monkey / a bald monkey

110} Multiple personalities like a schizophrenic monkey

111} Flea infested like a dog monkey

112} Shreded like a monkey in a blender

113} Orbiting like a space monkey

114} Drives like a golfing monkey

115} Sad like a heartbroken monkey

116} Ancient like a mumified monkey

117} Smoked like a grass monkey / a weed monkey

118} Locked like a safe monkey

119} Tired like a somniferous monkey

120} Happy like a gay monkey / a clown monkey

121} Bruised like a kung-fu'd monkey / a beaten monkey / a spanked monkey

122} Hidden like a camoflage monkey / a dragon monkey

123} Itchy like a crab monkey

124} Dizzy like an ER monkey

125} Prickly like a burmonkey

126} Smelly like Smile E. Monkey

127} Tall like a giraffe monkey

128} Eternal like a Canadian monkey

129} Extant like an afro monkey

130} Smiling like a MacDonald's monkey

131} Legendary like an easter monkey / an abominable monkey / a santa monkey

132} Undecided like a Jon monkey

133} Undefined like a stogg monkey

134} Stogg like a blogg monkey

135} Bouncy like a spring monkey / a monkoline / shocked monkey / rubber monkey / Tigger monkey

136} Coniferous like a pine monkey

137} Catholic like a Pope monkey

138} Flat like a steamrolled monkey / an ironed monkey / an iron monkey / a 180 degree monkey

139} Silly like a Trix monkey

140} Eli like a shelled monkey / a snake-tongued monkey / a brain-dyed monkey / a stool monkey / a clear-headed monkey

141} Boxular like a juice monkey

142} Lanky like a Yishai monkey

143} Soft like a plush monkey

144} Speeding like a monkey under the influence / an M.U.I.

145} Doubled-chinned like a sailor monkey

146} Super charged like a frosted monkey

147} Jolly like a green monkey

148} Rug-burned like a head standing monkey

149} Creepy like a somnambulist monkey

150} Nude like a playmonkey / a monkey

151} Curious like a monkey

152} Risky like a dangerous monkey / a hedge monkey / a Johnny Walker monkey (see #82)

153} Secure like a jailed monkey / an F.D.I.C. monkey / a postal monkey

154} Cheers me up like a comedic monkey / a Bull and Finch monkey

155} Versatile like around monkey nub

156} Hurts like a sadistic monkey / a rent-a-moneky / a monkey wound / a monkey per second

157} Ascetic like a monk-ey

158} Homeless like a Brody monkey / a treeless monkey / a hobo monkey

159} Wicked like a wax monkey

160} Vicious like liquid money

161} Bearded like a Judah monkey

162} Bites like a Barques monkey

163} Snoutular like a pig monkey

164} Given like a monkey

165} Duck like a quacktastic monkey / a quackular monkey

166} Elusive like a Godomsky monkey

167} Moribund like a TA monkey

168} Funky like a chicken monkey

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